Imagine a panel of men put on display in front of a firing squad of women, armed with questions about the thoughts and actions of the male species.
I had the opportunity to witness such an occasion this past weekend at the ‘Ask a Man’ event held in the VIP room at Studio Movie Grill in the Epicentre.
Organized by Sex and the Queen City and Virile, the panel of seven men opened themselves up to a no-holds-barred discussion of sex, dating, marriage and relationships.
Not since Sex and the City alerted us to the fact that ‘He’s just not that into you’ have women been so privy to the inner workings of the male mind.
The discussion was off to a fiery start leaving no room to build up to ‘heated’.
The notion that men should pay most or all of the bills was immediately quashed by the entire panel.
The men were in agreement that the bills should be split in a fair manor depending upon the salaries of each person in the relationship.
Communication, respect and team effort were recurring words coming from the panel.
One of the men ended the topic by turning the tables and asking how a woman can continue to call herself ‘Boss’ if she’s not even paying her own bills. Boom!
Things were about to take an ugly turn as the next question was posed to the forum.
Do all men cheat?
We expected denial and protests from the panel. But they each honestly answered “yes”. Yes all men cheat. There, they said it.
They admitted there’s nothing we can do to prevent it.
Men do not equate sex with love. Sex is more emotional for women. That’s why is so hard for them to recover after being cheated on.
The men agreed there are little to no consequences. No repercussions. So why not keep cheating?
But can a man recover from a woman cheating? The answer was pretty much NO!
Men are wired differently. Their egos won’t allow them to accept cheating. They know women form emotional attachments to sexual partners. They can’t get past the physical or emotion aspect of their partner cheating.
After a short, much needed intermission the subject of cheating led into discussion of social media’s impact on relationships.
If you don’t Instagram it then it didn’t really happen right? And you’re not REALLY in a committed relationship until it’s Facebook official. Would we even have a connection to our ‘followers’ or ‘friends’ if it weren’t for our social media accounts?
These are notions men want women to get away from.
If a man comments on or ‘likes’ another woman’s picture it shouldn’t set off an argument.
They want their partners to differentiate between ‘women’s intuition’ and insecurity.
Social media doesn’t destroy relationships. People do.
Men want to know why we want to impress total strangers so much.
If a man has you around his family, his friends, his coworkers, and takes you out in public all the time then why is it so important that people we may or may not know to see pictures of you both on Facebook?
Why do we ignore our partners when we’re out enjoying an event and focus on posting on Instagram.
Why can’t we live in the moment? Post a pic then put your phones away. Enjoy being with your loved ones.
The men have spoken.
Men need respect and women need love. Men want communication. They want women to pick their battles. Don’t let something small blow up and end a relationship. Be on the same level. Be a team.
Yes the men have spoken. But did the women listen?
Maya Angelou said “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them”
These men showed us who they are. I spent the entire discussion monitoring the reactions from the audience. I listened to the conversations going on around me as the men spoke.
Anger, disgust and denial is what I gathered. I jotted down comments throughout the evening.
“He wouldn’t be my man then”
“They wouldn’t be saying that if they were with the right woman”
“I don’t have any problem getting my bills paid”
“He’s lucky to even be with me”
“I don’t need a man”
Woman asked. Men answered. But it wasn’t the answers they wanted to hear.
Despite the men being transparent, raw and blatantly honest I think very few women got it.
Do women want to spend the entire relationship trying to change a man? Mold him into the perfect guy?
They told us they do love us. They told us what makes them happy and unhappy. They told us what they need from us.
Is it possible that they really are into us…..and we just pushed them away?