When I really don’t know what to say and need a moment to process my thoughts I tend to say ‘well now’.

Mental Health is one of those things people don’t know how to talk about. Especially men.

Men are taught to hide their feelings. To be strong. Not to show weakness. And never ever cry.

This leads to suffering in silence. Because men cannot show weakness.

Or can they?

I recently attended ‘Barbershop Talk’ at West Charlotte High School. It was hosted by Derrick ‘Fly Ty’ Jacobs and was organized by Novant Health and The National African American Male Wellness Walk Initiative.

Medical professionals were set up giving information about physical health.

‘Know your Numbers’! Blood pressure, weight, blood sugar etc. are often overlooked by men. Ignorance is bliss. ‘Not knowing there’s a problem means there isn’t a problem’ is a dangerous mindset.

Mental Health professionals made up the panel. They addressed many issues.

Mental and physical health. Sex and relationships. Nothing was off limits.

Mental wellness looks different in everyone. Some push through and pray through it.

Some need more. And it’s ok. God put professionals on earth. He gave them the knowledge to help.

So many suffer in silence. But that thought process needs to be changed.

Check your thoughts. What causes you to lash out when the women in your lives express concern? How do you get over that fear of not being 100 percent well?

Communication and transparency is key. Define your intimacy and create your love language. You have to teach someone HOW to love you.

And this is where the ladies in the audience came in. We were split up into groups and participated in workshops.

I know this sounds outdated and may get some flack from The Women’s Liberation movement, but ladies, we have to take care of our men!!!

How do we get them to communicate? Adapt healthy eating habits? Have a healthy disagreement?

Men have a built in defense mechanism. If you come at him yelling he’s going to come back even louder.

Learn to change how you approach him.

First identify any red flags. You know your man. You know when something is off.

Second, you have to choose when to approach him about it. One woman said she chooses early morning over coffee to talk to her husband. Another chooses the car ride to school to talk to her teenage son. (Yes we need to apply this to all men in our lives. Fathers, husbands, sons or friends)

Third is how we approach them. We learned to try the method of 5 positives and 1 negative.

Lay the problem on the table. Drive home the positives. And explain how the negative impacts those positives.

We create the rules in our relationship.

Have a dialogue not a monologue.

Queens, take care of your Kings!

https://www.aawalk.org/

https://www.novanthealth.org/

‘To love and to be loved is the greatest gift of all.’

We’ve all heard this quote before. But one young author I recently interviewed questions what do we do with the love we receive.

In her book ‘Be You Beloved’ Miranda Trudeau documents her journey.

Her journey is not only about receiving love from God, but also loving herself. And how the two are entwined.

When her Publicist contacted me about writing a blog about her I knew I really didn’t have the time to do it. But heard myself saying “Ok, Set it up.”

That didn’t come from within me. That was God’s way of placing someone in my life that He knew I needed to meet.

It began as a dreaded phone interview. I really dislike this way of getting to know my subject.

But within five minutes we were bonded. Finishing each other’s sentences. And telling very similar stories.

Both of us were raised in families following the same religion. And experienced the same confusion. Asked the same questions. And felt the same shame for being unsure of Gods love for us.

We both took Religion in college to try and gain insight into our frustrations. And neither of us got the answers we needed.

Visiting different churches and finally finding our niche, we both finally could start accepting Gods love.

Now that we have graciously received His love we have to learn to love ourselves.

If He loves us then we must be worthy of our own love right?

Self love is the most difficult form of love to me. And to hear someone experience the same fears, curiosity, doubt and even shame has given my own journey Validation.

At the end of each chapter are questions. How God spoke to you in the chapter. What are some things that happened to you to make you feel certain ways. This interactive addition lets you see God’s fingerprint on certain events in your life.

One thing I noticed when reading this book was the progression of the photos scattered throughout.

As you can see, one of the first photos is clouded. And you can barely see her face.

As you make your way through each section you get a clearer look.

By the end of the book as she finds herself, we also find her.

And reading through our answers at the end of each chapter, we can now see ourselves.

So what’s love got to do with it?

Everything!

Be You Beloved is the greatest gift of all.

https://www.mirandatrudeau.com/hello

https://www.tsunamigroupinc.com/

I met designer Nelli Levental recently at a Charlotte Seen Model call.

After models are approved for the show they’re led into a room with the designers.

Each designer then picks which models they want to show their designs on the runway.

I was struck by the intricate neck piece she was wearing.

The bits of twisted metal molded into an owl looked incredible on her.

So I set up an interview to find out more about this wearable art.

She conducted a psychological experiment.

With a background in art, Nelli decided to use her gift to help women feel better about themselves.

She watched women’s demeanor change. As they picked up a piece and placed it on themselves, they immediately brightened up.

They stood a little taller. Smiled with confidence. And felt Glamorous.

Her pieces make women look at themselves differently.

They make you feel regal. But they’re not made from the finest gold and gemstones on earth.

In fact they’re mostly made of recycled, everyday items.

Felt and packing paper mixed with epoxy and varnish brings her imagination to life.

From left over bits and bobs, Nelli creates a fairy land effect.

Fashion is more than clothing and accessories. It’s a feeling. A confidence. A touch of Random Glam.

https://nellilevental.com/

https://charlotteseen.com/

It’s a bird…It’s a plane…It’s SUPERFOOD!!!!

Saturday, Frutta Bowls Indian Trail launched their new base made from Graviola.

Yeah, I’ve never heard of it either. So I did some Googling.

Also called the Soursop Fruit it’s quite…well, ugly.

Don’t let the ‘not so cute’ outside throw you. It’s actually delicious. With a citrus/coconut/banana taste it makes for the perfect base for bowls and smoothies.

This tropical fruit has many health benefits.

Chocked full of vitamins and antioxidants, it makes eating healthy easy.

The new bowl base is Graviola. Topped with fruit and sprinkled with coconut. Yummy!!!

And the smoothie!!! What a beauty!!! The ugly duckling becomes a beautiful swan!! The Pitaya drizzle makes this drink is a real cutie!!!

With each sip, a different flavor emerges.

Influencers, forget the colorful, overpriced coffee drinks with all those artificial flavors and flood your pages with Instagram worthy pics of this healthy drink!!!

Superfood…rescuing you from boring unhealthy food!!!!

https://fruttabowls.revelup.com/weborder/?establishment=13#landing

My blogging career has gone to the dogs. Literally.

Charlotte Seen let the fur fly today during Haute Dogs In the City.

Our furry friends hit the runway dressed in the finest Doggie Couture.

There were Dapper Dudes.

And Supermodels sporting pink.

There were Divas. This one was giving me a run for my money.

Some were just ready for a nap.

This one proudly showed off her bikini and coordinating sunglasses.

Doggie Couture was available for the shopaholic doggies.

There was ‘Pup Corn’.

And ‘Haute Dogs’.

With ‘Paw-Tato’ Chips.

There were giveaways from our sponsor New South Insurance.

And we were safe with Skye from Paw Patrol on duty.

There was music and dancing.

Most importantly we got to hear these furry models stories.

Many were rescued. Some were service animals. And some were longtime family pets.

We heard stories of one dog predicting the changes in its owners blood sugar. And the emotional support one gave it’s cancer survivor owner.

We learned that North Carolina has one of the highest numbers of euthanized animals.

And the importance of Pet Adoption.

Spread the news! Make sure your pets are spayed and neutered. Foster and adopt.

We all have to do more for mans best friend.

When you gather seven of Charlottes most successful business men in one room, knowledge just flows.

These men shared their business strategies as they apply to hostess Lu Ann Barry’s seven step, 360 degree approach to success.

Having met half the men on the panel before and seeing their success grow through the years I knew there would be some powerful messages.

1. KNOWLEDGE:

Knowledge is Wealth. DJ Chuck T did not attend college. He gained all his knowledge from life experience.

Ryan Jor El did not get his degree in fashion. However his on job training gave him more knowledge than a book ever could. Fashion became a launching pad for all his other endeavors.

Sport E Odie echoed a belief I’ve always had. After graduating, kids are too young and immature to decide what they want to do in life. Leading to so many people not doing what they have a degree for.

He said “Failure makes you learn”. Losing money is the best way to ensure you never repeat that mistake.

Sport E stresses the importance of holding on to your knowledge

2. RESOURCES:

Terry Budget, a highly decorated military veteran, spent a lot of time reading. Books are a main resource in his career.

After losing everything not once, but twice, he’s now very successful. With his speaking engagements bringing in $10,000 an hour, he still focuses on those with nothing. Playing a game of chess with a prisoner, sharing his insight and encouragement.

He told us we have to change the way we think in order to change the way we live.

“If you can stand to lose it all you can stand to have it all”.

His words have become a valuable resource to me.

When George Acheampong talks, I listen! This is the second opportunity I’ve had to hear him speak. And his words have changed me in many ways. He has taught me the importance of teachability. Willingness to learn. And accept change.

“Behave your way into a certain skill set”.

3. TEAM:

Your team doesn’t have to be physical. It can be virtual. Not even from the same city.

Learn to utilize your Team. Know when to let a member go.

Sport E Odie said “Keep the ones that watched you build. The ones that see something in you not just what you see in them”

Curtis Walls told us he’s not always the biggest guy in the room. But always the one to command respect.

So much of what he said during this discussion has stuck with me.

He said we need to ask of our team “What is their why?”

What is their energy level? How are they acting and moving?

“A team is only as great as their leader’

Lonnie Davis feels teamwork is essential in his real estate business. They need to ask questions. Share ideas.

“Closed mouths don’t get fed”

4. NETWORK:

Our network is not the same as our team. Associate with what you do.

Curtis Walls told us if people see you casually in that space then they will take you seriously when you start to build on it.

Ryan Jor El knows one of the most important parts of networking is getting your brand noticed.

“It doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be out there. People can’t critic what they don’t see”

Sport E Odie drove the point home.

“Until they see your actions, no one will take you seriously.”

5. PACKAGING:

How we package ourselves, our brand, is major. The panel pointed out that the average person has to see something seven times before they take notice.

“Your marketing isn’t working unless people are seeing it” said Sport E Odie. Sometimes you have to go back to the old school way. Print up flyers. Make T-shirt’s. Pound the pavement and get your brand out there.

With social media being the main source or marketing, you’re brand has to stand out from the masses.

DJ Chuck T believes in Dressing the part. Image is everything. Be known for doing something well.

George Acheampong said “Be authentic in your moves.” Things go wrong when you try to be something you’re not.

6. BALANCE:

The panel all agreed you have to find the balance between your personal and professional life in order to succeed.

Lonnie Davis learned balance after recently taking up boxing. It physically and mentally prepared him for his success in business.

“You’ve got to take a lot of hits. Get beat up. Only then can you succeed”

DJ Chuck believes balance is different for everyone. “Face the fact but keep the faith.”

Your intent must align with your goals.

Ryan and Sport agreed on learning to say “No”.

Sometimes it’s ok to turn things down. Sport stressed the importance of Praying on your No’s after a ‘No’ almost cost him a lucrative deal.

A No can be important and imperative.

7. EVALUATE AND REEVALUATE:

Terry believes in going after purpose. And purpose will get you paid.

It’s not enough to just go after money. Share with others. He has seen the inmates grow as he’s worked with them. He’s shown them what’s possible and built their confidence.

Many of the men have rebranded. Grown. Merged. And it’s made them even more successful.

George believes in evaluating your timing. You can’t see every angle when you’re in the middle. Sometimes it’s best to zoom out and look at the full picture.

A 360 degree view.

https://www.spicelabmedia.com/

http://curtiswalls.com/Network-links

https://georgeacheampong.lpages.co/ig-landing-page/

http://www.djchuckt.com/events.html

https://www.terrybudget.com/

http://sporteodie.com/

https://linktr.ee/ryan_jorel

http://www.iamlonniedavis.com/

Time for my top ten picks for Dad!

1. Don’t buy him another boring tie. Buy him a luxurious tie from Ike Behar Charlotte.

Leonard Gresham will help you pick out the perfect tie for your perfect dad!

https://ikebehar.com/

2. A tie alone does not make an outfit. So pick a Ryan Jor El pocket square to complete the look.

Each pattern is hand picked by the Fashion Connoisseur himself. The key is to compliment not match.

http://ryanjorel.com/

3. So you’ve given Dad a fancy tie and fabulous pocket square but he doesn’t quite know how to make it work. No problem. Once again it’s Ryan Jor El to the rescue.

His book Fashion & Fatherhood will have Dad looking dapper in no time!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692725032/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_6px.Cb83FWTJ8

4. If dressing up just isn’t Dad’s thing then head to Banana Republic for some comfy and casual outfits.

Throw out the old jeans and torn T-shirt’s and head over to BR on Rea Road and let Beth Scrimgeour make him the most stylish dad in the block.

https://likeshop.me/bananarepublicmens?utm_campaign=IG+Link+in+Bio+Links&utm_medium=bitly&utm_source=Instagram

5. Now that his closest is set it’s time to add some accessories.

L. Howard Artisry in Leather makes unique bags for all occasions. No two bags are the same and Dad will stand out whether it’s for work or travel.

https://lhowardleather.com/

6. We’re all responsible for over half the wrinkles on our dads precious faces. So help him take better care of the face you love with Beauty Counters Men’s line!

Stacy Rovner can help find the perfect products to put that glow back on his face

https://www.beautycounter.com/stacyrovner

7. Good Ol Dad is looking pretty good. He needs to smell as good as he looks.

Michael Kors has some incredible colognes. Extreme Rush is my favorite. The Ladies at South Park Mall’s MK store will find the perfect scent for him.

https://www.michaelkors.com/trend/michaels-world/_/R-cat3880001?ecid=MKZ_US_En_IG_Bio_MKWorld_121918

8. He’s looking good and smelling good so he deserves a night out with the guys.

Tailored Smoke Cigar Lounge offers the perfect gentleman’s evening.

http://tailoredsmoke.com/

9. Give dad some family fun time he will never forget.

Mr. Stumpy’s Axe Throwing In Tega Cay is a fun time for all ages. Combined with Mr. Putty’s Fun Park there’s something for every age from 2 to 102. The golf course is even wheelchair accessible!! The owner Rob is so welcoming and makes each trip memorable.

https://www.mrstumpys19hole.com/book-online

10. After the shopping and fun it’s time to let dad make a pig of himself.

Tell dad to put the grill away and take him to The Improper Pig. The menu provides so many options to give dads grilling a run for its money.

https://theimproperpig.com/

Once a year we get to pay our Father’s back for everything he’s done for us. Give him things he’s never get for himself. And show him how much he is loved!